Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Poem for a Lost Lover

I sink into you like water.
We become a wave.  
We travel wide and deep.  
We are everything, 
and nothing.  
Secret lyrics in the ancient language of our hearts.  
The comfort of a future stitched together with memories.  
This is a dream.  You are not here.  But somewhere in the ocean, we dance.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Personally Political: An Exercise in Integration

It’s been a long time since I posted regularly on this blog. In fact, I have never posted very regularly. I have posted intermittently in regards to a wide array of subjects. I am often called to write when something affects me deeply, but at times I have felt unable to articulate what it is that I want to say. Part of the reason I have had difficulty maintaining this blog on a regular basis is because of internal blocks regarding writing. Sometimes I feel like my blog should have a more specific focus, and I’m not sure how to integrate all the disparate parts of this blog, of myself. Today, I decided to write about some of those blocks, in hopes of removing them and allowing myself the space for expression once again.

When I started this blog I was in my senior year of my undergraduate education at UC Santa Cruz, and posted frequently about art, history, film, and politics. All of those pieces were directly related to my studies, the bulk of the writing being papers that I had submitted for various classes. I was, and still am, proud of the work that I did there, and I wanted to share it with a larger audience. As my focus has changed, I have wondered if it still fits here. Should I delete old posts to make it more cohesive? No. I am proud of those writings and I want to keep them here. Should I limit myself to posting only things that seem to gel together readily? No. I am a whole and multifaceted being, and my writings are unified, because they reflect parts of my whole self.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Thursday, September 12, 2013

False Idolatry 2013

Whenever I am disillusioned with something, or no longer having fun, I tell myself “Everything is a learning experience.” That’s how I have managed to cope with heartbreak and loss, embarrassment and shame, feeling out of place and ostracized, and everything in between. This year at Burning Man, that was my mantra.

I am well versed in the perils of expectation and well aware that the Playa can provide both ecstasy and misery, sometimes back to back. Last year, I rode through the week on a cloud, only coming to a crashing halt when my campmates (new friends with whom I had bonded deeply) and I packed up to leave. We adventured in tight little cells, streamed through the crowds on the way to the burns, screamed “Orgasm!” in unison at the top of our lungs, miraculously found just the right places, huddled together with our crew, bladders full of piss and hearts full of bliss.

This year's Burn fell flat in comparison. I felt so far away from that candy-coated cloud I had navigated through the desert in 2012. I felt alone, disheartened, and disconnected from most of my campmates and the sea of drugs that they were swimming in with joy and abandon. It was a tripper’s paradise, and this year I had turned down the Kool-Aid. But then, I know the perils of comparison too. I adjusted my perspective, repeated my mantra, and looked for the beauty in the breakdown.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Butterfly Circus

The Butterfly Circus - HD from The Butterfly Circus on Vimeo.

The Butterfly Circus, directed by Joshua Weigel, is one of the most beautiful and inspiring short films I have seen in a long time.  The film tells the story of a troupe of unique performers, all of whom had to fight their way through very difficult circumstances before finding happiness in the traveling family of the Butterfly Circus.  "The harder the struggle, the greater the triumph," says the ringmaster.  We see this theme played out as the newest addition, a man without limbs, struggles to escape his past as a sideshow curiosity and embrace his full potential.  This is a must watch.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Sounds of Late

Blackbird Raum

Agent Ribbons

The Devil Makes Three

Florence and the Machine

Friday, April 8, 2011

Words of Wisdom

Excerpts from “What I Believe“, J. G. Ballard 1984.

“I believe in the power of the imagination to remake the world, to release the truth within us, to hold back the night, to transcend death, to charm motorways, to ingratiate ourselves with birds, to enlist the confidences of madmen. . .
I believe in Max Ernst, Delvaux, Dali, Titian, Goya, Leonardo, Vermeer, Chirico, Magritte, Redon, Duerer, Tanguy, the Facteur Cheval, the Watts Towers, Boecklin, Francis Bacon, and all the invisible artists within the psychiatric institutions of the planet.
I believe in the impossibility of existence, in the humour of mountains, in the absurdity of electromagnetism, in the farce of geometry, in the cruelty of arithmetic, in the murderous intent of logic. . .
I believe all excuses.
I believe all reasons.
I believe all hallucinations.
I believe all anger.
I believe all mythologies, memories, lies, fantasies, evasions.
I believe in the mystery and melancholy of a hand, in the kindness of trees, in the wisdom of light.”